Girl 1: I love fat guys. I'm serious. I totally love fat guys.

Guy 1: Okay, why?

Girl 2: She likes the cushion.

overheard by: ryan e.

U-Haul Worker: Okay, what size do you want? 10 or 14 ft?
Girl: Ummm, well... how big is the 10 ft one?

-- U-Haul Center, Dempster st.

overheard by eric l.

Girl: Could you please stop smoking?
Smoker: You're all sluts.

-- Bus, Senior Formal

overheard by: bus rider

Guy: I'll take a shit on your chest and you try to tell me it's not sexual.

-- Caps game

overheard by: mike w.

Girl 1: Did you get any dessert?
Girl 2: Are you kidding? I don't do dessert.
Girl 1: Please, I haven't been full in my entire life.

--Women's bathroom, Senior Formal (Soldier Field)

overheard by: dessert eater who is full

Techie: This is my third drink in my life!

-- Senior Bar Night, The Cubby Bear

overheard by: Ramona

Grad student: I'm going to get kicked out of this school if I don't stop acting like a Latin American.

-- Kellogg

overheard by: Margie