Sorority girl 1: Oh my god, I think they went out back to smoke.

Sorority girl 2: Wait, you can't get an STD from that.. right? 

-- Simpson st

overheard by: rk

Sorority girl 1, talking about job interviews: I just don't want to lie.

Sorority girl 2: Well, lying is different than telling the truth.

1835 Hinman Card Scanner, in response to a picture of "The Rabbit" in North by Northwestern: Is that what I think it is?!

Girl 1: Have you ever thought about how you spell diet? It's d-i-e
with a t at the end.
Girl 2: It's like death by crucifixion.

-- McCulloch porch

overheard by: Eric

Dude 1: Hey, what's my body mass index?
Dude 2: FAT.

-- McCormick Tribune Center

overheard by: lauren

Guy 1: You smell like shit.

Guy 2: That's because I farted.

Guy 1: Oh shit.

-- Sheridan road, by the tennis courts

overheard by: random student passing by

Girl: Damn, I could really take a light brown shit.

-- Allison hall lobby

overheard by: palindrome