Girl 1: Have you ever thought about how you spell diet? It's d-i-e
with a t at the end.
Girl 2: It's like death by crucifixion.

-- McCulloch porch

overheard by: Eric

Dude 1: Hey, what's my body mass index?
Dude 2: FAT.

-- McCormick Tribune Center

overheard by: lauren

Guy 1: You smell like shit.

Guy 2: That's because I farted.

Guy 1: Oh shit.

-- Sheridan road, by the tennis courts

overheard by: random student passing by