Drunk Guy: So... What are your names?

Girl 1: I'm partially deaf.

Girl 2: I'm blind in one eye.

Girl 3: I have really terrible gag reflex.

(Drunk guy walks away.)

-- NU Bar Night at Moda

overheard by: partygoer

Guy: Hey, do you want to make out?
Girl: ...you're on speakerphone.

-- Clark st.

overheard by: the roommate

Girl, to female friend: I hope that I get syphilis so that I can give it to you.

-- Norris

overheard by: NK

Hateful undergrad: The only thing that comes out of girls' mouths these days is vomit and sororities.

-- 1835 Hinman dining hall

overheard by: ML

Girl: OMG, I did not pref [sorority X]. I would have so much sex I would break myself.

-- Sorority quads, after one night of recruitment

overheard by: erin

Tech kid, video chatting at 1 AM: By the way, officially the whitest word in the English language: Shenanigans.

-- Media Works, University Library

overheard by: cw

Sorority girl, yelling: Umm and fuck don't even rhyme!

-- University Place