Guy: ...maybe I won't teach my kids beer pong.

overheard by: J

Girl: And I was like, I just put my hand down your pants! And you want to go to sleep?!

-- line for Starbucks, Norris

overheard by: T.

Sorority Girl 1: I can't believe he cheated on me with his ex. I am never going to forgive him.
Sorority Girl 2: But you cheated on him like 3 times. With different guys.
Sorority Girl 1: ....yeah. I guess we're even.

-- In class, Harris 107

overheard by: lauren v.

TA to near-tears freshman girl: ...but if you get a B I'm not going to find you, like, swinging in your bedroom, right?

-- outside Harris Hall

overheard by: anonymous

Dude: I don't like social drinking unless sexual rewards are involved.

-- Core, University Library

overheard by: E.

Girl: She is so beautiful. She must live off diet coke and coke.

-- Sheridan road

overheard by: brendon.

Drunk girl: If I had an eskimo, would you make sure it didn't fart on my face?

-- Sheridan road

overheard by: jeffrey m.