Dude dressed as Samuel Adams, to his girlfriend: Alright, YOU drink a fifth of jack and then tell me what you want to do ... other than hit your wife.

-- Oak and Church

overheard by: chris w

Freshman Guy: Dude, I'm definitely rushing lodge, sig ep, or hundo.

overheard by: Alex

Drunk guy: What if my shoe were Alanis Morissette right now?

-- Allison Hall lobby

overheard by: Kathryn D.

Two freshmen not-so-subtly hooking up on the side of a wall:

Girl: You can touch me there.

-- Maple and Garnett

overheard by: Alex

Drunk guy with car, yelling to friend: Dude, I have two choices... either park my car here and get towed, or get a DUI. What should I do?!

- Hamlin st., morning of NU-Michigan football game

overheard by: Hannah

Drunk guy: Dude, that bird's totally gonna fry when it steps on that third rail!
Sober guy: Bet you five bucks it won't.
Drunk guy: You're so on.
(Bird steps on rail, nothing happens.)
Sober guy: I. Am. A. Wizard.

-- Davis El Platform

overheard by: Rusty

...and this is the battle of waterloo

History Buff, on Tyrell Sutton: Dude, he's freaking shorter than Napoleon!

-- Ryan Field, at the Duke football game

overheard by: John