Frat guy: ...aaand I just came my pants.

-- Leaving a keg, Frat row

overheard by: hazel w

Sorority Girl #1: Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be ugly?
Sorority Girl #2: Yeah, but most people at least... You know, like, if they have a bad face, at least they have good hair.
Sorority Girl #1: But what if you had a bad face AND bad hair?!
[SILENCE].

-- University Library

overheard by: lauren v.

Cook, during Friday dinner: When I get home, I'm going to drink every beer in the house!

-- Foster-Walker West

overheard by: greg

Drunk Girl: Just fucking let me lay down for a second, Jill!

-- Sheridan and Dartmouth, in the snow.

overheard by: Freshman

Drunk Guy: So... What are your names?

Girl 1: I'm partially deaf.

Girl 2: I'm blind in one eye.

Girl 3: I have really terrible gag reflex.

(Drunk guy walks away.)

-- NU Bar Night at Moda

overheard by: partygoer

Guy: Hey, do you want to make out?
Girl: ...you're on speakerphone.

-- Clark st.

overheard by: the roommate

Girl, to female friend: I hope that I get syphilis so that I can give it to you.

-- Norris

overheard by: NK