Girl: Damn, I could really take a light brown shit.

-- Allison hall lobby

overheard by: palindrome

Guy 1, after entering private study room: Sorry, this room is reserved for a tutoring session, so we need you to leave.
Guy 2: Sure. Could you just leave for a second while I get changed?

-- East tower, University Library

overheard by: Kyle

Frat guy, to group of three girls: So, I'm going to go get a drink... can I buy one of you a drink? Just one of you though, I'm not rolling in it.

overheard by: anonymous

Drag Girl #1: How do I look?
Drag Girl #2: Like a 70's PIMP.
Drag Girl #3, to Drag Girl #2: How do WE look?
Drag Girl #2: We just look like hoes.

-- outside Clarke's

overheard by: NC & JL

Girl: Why am I buying you a drink? You called me a slut!

-- Afterparty, Koi

overheard by: YH

Drunk girl: I have never in my life seen so many ugly white guys in togas before.

-- Sheridan and Noyes

overheard by: M&W

Girl: Jessica! Your dress is so short I can see your clitoris!

-- On the stairs, in a frat house

overheard by: Lana